DESIRING TO PLEASE HIM IN ALL THINGS

Paul was unceasingly praying and making request for the Colossians, asking that they would 
“ walk, live, and conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Lord...”  Colossians 1:10. 
I have read that many times, but it never fully struck me that:

We are HIS, bought with a tremendous price (His own lifeblood).

HIS.  “Family” of..…..

·         The King of all Kings

·         The Creator of every single thing, person, life

·         The Ultimate Conqueror of all

·         The Omnipotent, The Omniscient, The Omnipresent

·         The All-knowing

·         The Ruler & Lord over every kingdom, nation, tribe, man, woman, child

We are the children of the High and Exalted One over all the universe!

Like royalty on earth –
              but a million times more so –
                         we must conduct ourselves in a manner WORTHY of our inheritance.

What we do and say and how we react,
  even how we THINK,
      all reflect on our Father’s name.
We are being watched.
      It is being recorded.

We have been adopted into this unimaginably royal, holy family.

We are under minute by minute, second by second, MILITARY DISCIPLINE,                                                            
                                                voluntary,
                                         but so far-reaching.

The enemy of our Father’s kingdom lurks consistently behind the scenes,
urging a break in the defense line….

·         Self-centeredness

·         Pride

·         Disobedience to the Holy Spirit

·         Flesh walk

·         Discouragement, despair, anger

    Lord, help us to see the battle lines today and stay focused on victory in Christ
(notwithstanding brain injury, financial woes, disease, disappointments, troubles),
          “fully pleasing to You and desiring to please You in all things,
                                 bearing fruit in every good work,
     and steadily growing and increasing in (and by) the knowledge of  You.”   
                                              Colossians 1:10
 
 

 

 

FAULTLESSLY PURE

The Lord’s been working with me on sin areas in my life – kicking out bricks in strongholds that I’ve become comfortable with and accustomed to……and dependent upon.  “Idols” – He calls them – because they fight for a place on the throne with Him.

And I’m not making it an easy job for Him.  Two steps forward and one step back; sometimes one step forward and two steps back.  My flesh fights to have its “fix”.  I hold onto those bricks with my teeth.

Yesterday He showed me I Thessalonians 3:13 again:  “…that He may strengthen and confirm and establish your hearts faultlessly pure and unblamable in holiness in the sight of our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all the saints!”  (Amplified version)

It struck me that what He is pushing and prodding and spurring me toward IS POSSIBLE.  I can get rid of this unholy “stuff” in me – these mind thoughts, these words, these actions and reactions and attitudes, this “self-on-the-throne, dance around me” mindset.

He says He will strengthen the good that is there in my heart – make it stronger, more able to withstand Satan’s attacks.

He will confirm what is good in my heart, so it may not be lost – that Satan may not be able to lie and discourage me into thinking it’s not there at all and bug me into giving up trying.

And He says He will establish my heart.  He will (1) open my eyes to ways I need to change,
(2) grant me the willingness to change, and (3) firmly establish me in this “new” holiness, not letting me backtrack.

He won’t do all the work for me, though.  I have to learn to let him reign – in my mind, in my day, in my heart.  I have to give Him my will.  He’s slowly unclenching “will” from my clutching fingers - through daily nuggets in His precious Word, through glimpses of His glory and His great love for me, through blessings undeserved, through seeing His grace and patience and so unbelievable mercy…and through suffering…and struggles…and hardships…and tough times. 

But look!  Look what He’s heading me toward – and you……….

FAULTLESSLY PURE and UNBLAMABLE IN HOLINESS!!!!
IN THE SIGHT OF OUR GOD and FATHER,
at the COMING of OUR LORD JESUS with ALL THE SAINTS!

TRUST

We went through the book of Genesis in church awhile back.  One of the things we talked about was Eve’s response to Satan’s temptation with the apple.  Thinking about it, it seems to me that the bottom line for Eve was trust.  She didn’t trust that what God said was absolute truth.

Skipping ahead, that was also Noah’s temptation.   And Abraham’s.  I would guess that Abraham had been in “high protective mode” all of Isaac’s life.  After all, he had waited 80 or more  years for this promised child - who finally came when Abraham was 100 years old!  He would take no chances.  A contingent of servants probably followed Isaac everywhere, making sure this answer to a lifetime of prayers was kept safe.  For God to ask such a thing must have been the shock of Abraham’s life.  So he was faced with the question….”Do I trust that what God told me earlier is truth????”   Or Not???

Abraham had already gone through a number of other “trust tests”(paraphrased or implied):
(1)“Leave your country and go to a far place.  Just start walking.  I’ll tell you when to stop.”  PASS 
(2)“Trust me in Egypt with your life.”  FAIL   
(3)“Trust me that I will use you to defeat Lot’s capturerers, but don’t take bounty, lest they not realize I made you rich.” PASS  
(4)“Trust me for your life in Gerar.”  FAIL 
(5)“Trust that I will keep the Promise, without any help from you and Sarah manipulating the circumstances.”  FAIL

Now, it was, “Trust me for the Promise.  Trust me EVEN IN ISAAC’S DEATH.”

Leaving all of his natural instinct behind, literally laying his great love and hope on the altar, ABRAHAM CHOSE TO TRUST GOD AND OBEY.

Ever since Adam and Eve pulled the foundation stone out of their awesome relationship of trust and love with Him, God has been desiring men and women to again walk with Him in trust.  He found it in Abraham and in Noah….and in multitudes of Christians down through the ages who have chosen to trust GOD over circumstances, suffering, persecution, desires, hopes, trials, fears.

And He looks for it in me.  Every time I don’t listen to the Holy Spirit speaking to me, I’m doing the same thing as Eve.  I’m telling God that I don’t trust that what He wants me to do (or not do) is the best choice or will meet my need of the moment (or what I “think” my need of the moment is.)  I let fear or desire or protectiveness or “whatever” rule….because I think my logic is better than God’s.  So I choose to disobey.  And another stone falls out of the bedrock of trust that our love relationship is built on.

But, thankfully, God keeps offering me another stone!

 

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS:  II Peter 1:5-7

As 2014 begins and we possibly think about resolutions that we want to put into place for the new year – things we want to do differently and better - I’ve been thinking that it would be good for you and me to look at the goals that God wants us to aim for in 2014.  He’s listed them in II Peter 1:5-7, and He has asked us to diligently employ every effort to add these things to our faith.

He starts out with excellence (or “virtue”).  I think He puts this first because it constitutes a “mindset of excellence” – being willing to make Him Lord of every minute of our lives.

We can’t please Him without knowledge – “gnosis” – (the act of) “knowing” Him and His Word.  That means making it #1 priority every day to dig into His Word, ask the Holy Spirit to give us personal application, study diligently for correct interpretation, memorize His Word, pray His Word.  Our goal needs to be full, personal knowledge of Him (“epignosis”, II Peter 1:2, 3, 8; 2:20) – personal relationship with the King of Kings.

We can only do this with self-control – putting aside our personal wants and lusts for the moment and instead following the Holy Spirit’s lead – dying to the “self” within us, kicking out the sin nature that wants to take control.  “Self” controlled by the Holy Spirit – this is the bedrock for a life of obedience.    

But it has to be done with steadfastness – patience and endurance – over and over, until the way of the Spirit becomes our way of life.

This steadfastness of purpose leads to godliness (“eusebeia)” in our lives – growing in the “divine nature” (verse 4), as we begin to reverence and worship God the way He deserves (with all of our life).

As we develop the proper inside attitudes and relationship to God, we then automatically react to those around us with brotherly kindness – fulfilling their needs as the Holy Spirit directs. 

And with this groundwork, the ultimate goal - love (“agapen”), as the Father loves us – begins to take over our heart response to others.  We begin to have their “highest good” as our desire.

These are the “resolutions” that God wants to become “ours” and wants to see “increasingly abound” (verse 8) in us.  Wow!  I have a LONG way to go!  But……He says in verse 3 that “His divine power has bestowed upon us all things that are required for life and godliness, through the full, personal knowledge of Him Who called us to His own glory and excellence.”  So, the power and the ability are there; I just have to start with resolving to let God be Lord, not me, and follow through with “diligently employing every effort” to grow in these virtues He so desires in me.  Likewise with you.     

 Have a blessed New Year, filled with victory.

    

Note to new readers:  To read Steven's story since the TBI, go to the "Our Journey" tab at the top of the page.  To see his life before and after the TBI and to read short sections of Steven's "letters to God", hit the Celebration Service Slideshow.   

My Mother

My mother, Doris Rocke, had the awesome privilege of being called home to her Lord early on the morning of Friday, August 5, 2013.  I would like to share with you some of the amazing ways that God worked during her homegoing and also at the memorial service afterward. 

Mom was in a deep sleep all day Thursday, from which we could not awaken her.  I sang to her, prayed with her, and read the Bible to her, even though she wasn’t responding.  The verse I read to Mom that day (in addition to Revelation 21 and 22) was Psalm 17:15, “As for me, I will behold Thy face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with Thy likeness.”  (I had been reading through Psalms consecutively with Mom, and that was where we were in Psalms for that Thursday).  Since mom wasn’t struggling to breathe, we didn’t realize she was close to her homegoing, so late that evening, I left for a little sleep.  About 1:30am, one of the aids, Rhonda, kindly went in and sat with Mom for awhile.  (This was typical of the staff at the Pines Nursing Home.   They were not only unbelievably excellent caregivers to all the residents, but they were also “friends” to mom.  They loved her.)  While Rhonda was sitting quietly beside Mom’s bed, Mom suddenly awakened, looked Rhonda right in the eye, and smiled the biggest smile!  Not too long after that, the Lord called Mom home.  The wonderful thing about the situation is that Mom had not really smiled since her 2^nd stroke, around 3 months previously!  How beautiful of the Lord to have Rhonda sitting beside Mom just at that moment, to be able to see and tell us about that miraculous “homegoing” smile!

The other situation that I’d like to share concerns the memorial service for Mom at the Apostolic Christian Church.  It stormed ferociously during almost all of that service, with lots of thunder and lightning.  The winds blew hard and the rain came down in buckets.  Shortly after the service, we were told that there was a foot of water in the grave, so the burial would have to be delayed.  We postponed the graveside service until after the dinner, but the cemetery road was still badly flooded, and our cars barely made it through without stalling.  Consequently, the graveside service was changed to the mausoleum.  This was a blessing in disguise from the Lord.  We had a little choir of 8 or 10 people (pulled from visitors from up north because the normal funeral choir were mostly out of state that day). When they began to sing (A cappella and with no microphones), we were in for a glorious surprise.  Because of the acoustics of the mausoleum, it sounded like 10,000 angels singing!  The music seemed to be coming from everywhere – above us, below us, and all around us!!  I sat there enthralled, thinking that this must be a little taste of what heaven will sound like! 

What a blessing God gave us, through a storm.  It’s the same way with our lives; sometimes the most fearsome storms of life bring greater spiritual blessings than we could have imagined possible.

       

"I HAVE SET THE LORD ALWAYS BEFORE ME"

A short while back, I was leaving the nursing home (my mother had another stroke), and I passed a thin, little, elderly gentleman (whom I had never met) resting in his wheelchair in the sunshine outside the nursing home door.  Being in a bit of a hurry, I was past him and opening my car door before I fully realized the Holy Spirit was nudging me to talk to that elderly man.  But I was in a hurry, so I climbed into the car, started the engine, and backed out.  Then I remembered a point in our pastor’s sermon that morning, “Be obedient.”  So….I pulled under the portico, popped out of my car, and approached the gentleman with “I noticed you looked a bit lonely, and I wanted to tell you that Jesus loves you.”  The light of a million suns burst forth from his face as he excitedly told me, “Yes, yes, I know!  Jesus loves me!!  And He’s right here beside me!  He goes with me wherever I go!”  For the next 5 minutes, we proceeded to talk together with great joy about the Lord, about the coming rapture, and about the awesome life that awaits us.  I left feeling SO BLESSED and encouraged.  And here I thought it was for the little old man’s sake that God wanted me to stop!

When I got home, I sat down to have a little quiet time with the Lord (since I’d left the house at 7:00am without more than a quick prayer).  I’m currently reading through Acts, and the verses were Acts 2:25-28, talking about when Peter got up and addressed the amazed crowd of onlookers immediately after Pentecost.  Peter is talking about what David says concerning the Lord in Psalm 16:8-11, “I have set the Lord always before me, for He is at my right hand, that I may not be shaken or overthrown or cast down.” 

It brought to mind the little old man in the nursing home; he had given me a picture example of that verse.  In an atmosphere of public noise, lack of normal privacy that we in our home take for granted, dependence on others, and only a part of a room to call his own, he was able to be joyful and expectant and thankful (instead of miserable), because he saw in his mind’s eye the Lord constantly beside him.  It struck me as I studied the verses that it is an act of choice to “set the Lord constantly before us.”

The rest of the verses go on to explain the benefits of doing so:

·         We won’t be shaken or overthrown or cast down, so troubles and problems won’t get to us and Satan won’t defeat us.  Verse 25

·         Our heart will rejoice and our tongue will exult exceedingly (we’ll be speaking and singing praise).  Verse 26

·         Our flesh will dwell in hope (absolute knowing of heaven coming!)  verse 26

·         He will show us the path of life (the way we should go)  verse 28

·         We will be enraptured with and in His Presence (filled exceedingly with joy because of our fellowship with the Lord).  Verse 28

 Which leads back to the other point of my pastor’s sermon:  “Fall in love with God and be satisfied with His fellowship”.  The little old man was even beyond satisfied; he was ENRAPTURED with the Lord.   

Is 41:10  “Fear not, for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My right hand of rightness and justice.”

This was one of the verses that the Lord gave me on July 2, 2012, when I was “terrified and dismayed” thinking of the extreme dust and expense in jackhammering all of the satillo tile out of my house.  Little did I know that this would only be the beginning of a barrage of difficulties for the year, coming at approximately one every three days for the past 7 months.  To name a few:

·         3 instances of mold in the house, and another in the rentals, plus an asbestos problem, all causing extreme unexpected expense, in addition to a multitude of crazy plumbing and electrical problems in both places

·       still “temporarily” out of the house after 5 months and still looks barely past demolition stage, drive cracked, ruts in the lawn, dead plants

·         Total of 4 unexpected remodeling projects at the rentals, loss of tenants, angry tenants, upset contractors, threats of lawsuits, furnace fire, seemingly unsolvable problems, all of Steven’s life insurance spent “fixing” and still not finished

Plus a ton of other things.

You know, I was really glad to see 2012 go!

But 2013 “ain’t lookin’ much better”, starting with twenty minutes into the year. 

But then, I look back at that verse, and it says, “I will strengthen and harden you with difficulties.”  And I was thinking…..that’s exactly what these things have all been – difficulties – and that’s exactly what God is doing:  “strengthening and hardening me” with them, just like He promised.  So what is more important to me – a smooth, peaceful life – or that I will become what He desires me to become????

So how are these difficulties strengthening and hardening me?

·         By hammering it into my head that the peace of Christ ruling in me is a command and a choice, regardless of circumstances, and that peace must become the ruling authority rather than fear, uncertainty, despair, or whatever.  Colossians 3:15a  “Let the Peace from Christ rule in your hearts, to which (peace) you were called.”

·         By forcing me to remember that praise and thanks in all circumstances is part of the pathway to that peace.  Colossians 3:15b  “And be thankful always.”  Genesis 13:17, 18  “Arise, walk through the land, the length and the breadth of it” (mentally, walk through and give thanks) “then Abraham…built an altar to the Lord.”

·         By making me doubly aware that “He will send His Angel before you…”  Genesis 24:7 (neither house nor office burned down though potential was high, neither Steven nor I electrocuted when  circumstances should have brought that about, life insurance that we weren’t supposed to have miraculously provided by God preceeding all the need for the money, probable new tenants supplied even before old tenants moved out, place vacated for me to temporarily stay just hours before I needed it)

·         By opening my eyes to the fact that Satan’s first priority would be to distract me (by countless little irritations) from the Kingdom work of the moment and from the Awesome Covenant.  2 Corinthians 3:6  “..Who made us adequate as servants of the New Covenant..”

So, in these ongoing difficulties and problems and troubles (difficulties that will continue on throughout each of our lifetimes),  

Do I…..             
     Lose heart and become overwhelmed?

Or, in them, do I…..
     Hear my Maker calling me?

 

 

 

 

  

 

TEMPTATIONS in 2013

In Genesis 20:6, God is speaking in a dream to the king of Gerar, Abimelech, who had taken Abraham's wife, Sarah, into his harem.  Abimelech knew Sarah was Abraham’s sister, but Abraham and Sarah had neglected to say, out of fear and for the second recorded time (Genesis 12:10-20), that Sarah was also Abraham’s wife.  Surprisingly, Abimelech had not come near Sarah, even though she was part of his harem.  God explains why to Abimelech:  “…it was I Who kept you back and spared you from sinning against Me…” 

I have often looked at Genesis 20:6 rejoicing in how God preserved Sarah’s womb for a miracle – the birth of Isaac to 100 year old Abraham.  I previously missed another obvious fact:  this wasn’t only about Isaac; it was also about God sparing Abimelech from falling into temptation and sinning against God.

Six chapters later, in Genesis 26:6-11, amazingly, the process is repeated with Abimelech and his men, only this time it is with Abraham’s son Isaac and Isaac’s wife Rebekah.  “And the men of the place asked him (Isaac) about his wife, and he said, She is my sister; for he was afraid to say, She is my wife – thinking, Lest the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah, because she is attractive and is beautiful to look upon.”  This time, God has Abimelech look out the window at just the right time to see evidence that Rebekah is Isaac’s wife.

James 1:13 says that God tempts no man.  But the evidence seems to suggest that God goes one step further.  He supernaturally protects/removes his children, in His omniscience (all knowing) and His love, from temptation situations that He knows we are not strong enough to bear without falling into sin against Him. 

 I Corinthians 10:13 says, “But God is faithful not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure.”   (This would include not only temptations of the flesh, like Abimelech, but also temptations of the heart, such as anger, pride, fear, worry, unforgiveness, despair, faithlessness, loss of trust.) 

It goes on to say, “But with the temptation, He will also provide the way out (the means of escape) that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.”

In this new year of 2013, we can be confident God will not bring upon us a trial carrying with it a temptation beyond our ability to stand up under.  We can know with assurance neither Satan,  situations, or our flesh will tempt us this new year with anything that we do not have the power to say “no” to.  His love and omniscience and power go before us and clear the way for our own faithfulness, obedience, and faith – another example of God’s intimate involvement in our specific minute-by-minute life.  Thank you, Lord, for all the things that you will keep from our pathway this year because You know that we would not be strong enough to bear up under it.  Thank you for the power from You to be overcomers in everything that will come into our life this year.  Your love is awesome!         

AWESOME GOD

1^st DOCUMENTARY
I recently watched a documentary on the hydroplane theory about the Biblical flood, by Dr. Walter Brown.  He talks about 3 stages of the earth (as he sees it), as follows…… 

EARTH, STAGE 1:  Pre-flood 
The earth was founded on water and was one continent only.  Earth chambers below the earth were ¾ mile thick, filled with water.  See Genesis 1:6, 7; II Peter 3:5 

EARTH, STAGE 2:  Ruptured Phase 
Intense pressure resulted in failure in the crust.  It began to crack.  The subterranean rock was under great pressure with 10 miles of rock above.  Eventually, a force of water erupted, equal to 10 billion hydrogen bombs  - Hebrew “geshen”:  “pouring violently” - out of ground, from the beginning of the flood to the end of the flood.  Result:  a worldwide flood.  Genesis 7:11, II Peter 3:6 

EARTH, STAGE 3:  Continental Drift Phase 
The oceanic ridge is pushed upward.  Eventually…newly formed continents slide back.  The continents sink.  Water comes up and divides the continents.  Low–lying areas are flooded.  Original continental edges are now under water, 100’s of feet out into the ocean.  Before the flood, the earth consisted of more land.  Now, the earth is 75% water.
 

2^nd DOCUMENTARY
I watched a 2^nd documentary on recent discoveries of how unbelievably advanced great numbers of ancient civilizations were – much more than we would have ever imagined!  Scientists are beginning to realize how much technology was once known in various civilizations but eventually lost.

THINKING…..
Man, shortly after the flood and at the Tower of Babel, was extremely intelligent.  His genes were close to perfect, since he was not far removed from the perfect Adam.  Sin had not yet had time to do all of its work on the body.  The atmosphere was of a much higher quality with increased oxygen.  Man’s thinking was intensely clearer, with considerably more use of his brain.  There were few or no harmful chemicals, little disease, etc.  Man lived long.

Man had the potential at the time of the Tower of Babel to advance very quickly to the technological age that we are now in, an age where we now have the resources and advancements to wipe out each other and the earth, plus the evil intentions.

God’s plan:  start out by using the Jewish nation to show Himself to the whole world, then send Christ as the Savior of all who would accept Him, then opportunity for many future  millions/billions to accept Christ and fill the future perfect earth one day.    

So….God stopped the technological advancement so man wouldn’t wipe out man – by confounding their language and scattering them to the ends of the earth – and then by dividing the continents to make that division even more so.  101 years after the flood ended, in the line of Seth’s descendents, a man was born called Peleg, named because “during his time the earth divided”.  Genesis 10:25

In essence – He confounded the languages at the Tower of Babel and divided the continents to make sure you and I would be able to be born, learn about Him, accept Him as our Savior, and eventually dwell with Him forever.  What a picture of the awesomeness of God, His unbelievable love for us, His mercy and grace, and His over-the-top wisdom and perfect plans!!!

If He can confound languages of all peoples and divide the continents for me, He can surely handle the problems I (and the world) have today.  

He Carried Us

THE MASTER IS MIGHTY TO MAKE US STAND

Wednesday, May 9, 2012, was exactly a year since the Lord took Steven home.  Part of my Scripture reading that Wednesday morning was, “For he shall stand and be upheld, for the Master is mighty to support him and make him stand.”  (Ro. 14:4b Amp.)  It reminded me of how true that was of the years that Steven and I dealt with the brain injury!  

That same Wednesday evening (May 9, 2012), I read “Day 11” in Ruth Myers’ “31 Days of Praise”.  I periodically use Ruth’s book as part of my worship, looking up and using the Scripture references listed for each paragraph as part of my praise.  Sometimes I make a note beside the paragraph about something going on in my life that day pertaining to that batch of Scripture.  I usually read the calendar day, but it fell open to Day 11 on Wednesday, so I started reading there instead of Day 9.  One of the quotes from that day in her book is as follows:

“Thank You, my gracious and sovereign God, that You have been with me and carried me from the day of my birth until today…that You have known my whole life, from beginning to end, since before I was born…and that You wrote in Your book all the days that You ordained for me before one of them came to be.”  (Is 46:3; 46:9, 10; Ps 139:16; Is 63:9, 53:4)

Beside that paragraph, I had penciled in the following:  
   “5/11/07 – tenant declares bankruptcy”
   “10/11/07 – tenant closes” (our form of income)
   “11/11/08 – Steven diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease”  

Part of the next paragraph from Ruth’s book says:   
“Thank you that in Your gracious plan to bless and use me, You’ve allowed me to go through hard times, through trials that many people go through in this fallen world.  How glad I am that You’re so good at reaching down and making something beautiful out of even the worst situations!”  (I Co 10:13, I Pe 5:9, Ge 37, 50:17-20)

Beside that paragraph, I had written: 
   “9/11/01 – U.S. attacked!”
   “2/11/03 - Steven temporarily in nursing home, after 3 mo sickness, fall causing break in hip, hospital stay”
   “1/11/10 – Progressive Brain Deterioration” (new diagnosis - revived neurons going backwards) and "Steven’s blood pressure up and down” (out of control, part of above diagnosis)
Plus, “Steven, bed sore, infections” and “me – bronchitis, in lung”

A couple more paragraphs down, Ruth says:  “How comforting to know that in all my distresses, You were distressed.”  She takes this from Is 63:9 - “In all  their affliction He was afflicted, and the Angel of His presence saved them;  in His love and in His pity He redeemed them;  and He lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.”  

Ruth Myers’ last paragraph for Day 11 reads:
“Lord, I choose to look beyond my past and present troubles in this life – this temporary life - and fix my eyes on the unseen things that will last forever.  I praise You  for the eternal glory these things are piling up for me as I choose to trust You.”  (2 Co 4:17-18)

Lately, I've been dealing with a few minor “present troubles”:
   1.  Health issues 
   2.  A hit and run driver damaged property at my home.
   3.  A tile cleaner and sealer ruined the "pink-fiberglass coated" satillo tile that runs throughout my home.   Consequently, I'll need to have it all torn out (@$3.00 sq. ft) and purchase and lay new flooring throughout.  

One last notation:
“10/11/07 -  Praise God!  Giving us peace and faith, in spite of the circumstances!”

 Because……
“the Angel of His Presence…lifts us and carries us, all of our days”, and is still doing so - today and all throughout this somewhat challenging time for me, but also for you on the day you are reading this - and on throughout all our days on this earth.  Praise God! 

Help me to remember that because you are carrying me, Lord, I can stand through the present trial – wherever, whenever, whatever.  I need not stress out.  You have it all under control.    

Blessings to you all,
Vicki 

Peace Like a River

As I’m writing this article at my eldest daughter’s home in Michigan, the view out the wall of floor to ceiling windows is totally awesome.  We are high on a bluff, overlooking a river that is shimmering and sparkling and dancing in the sunlight.    The river is journeying between banks of trees that are bursting out in a glorious spring testimony of color to their Creator.  The constant gentle flow of the bubbly water elicits such a feeling of peace and brings to mind the verse in Isaiah 66:12, “I will extend peace to her like a river.”

I, too, am on a journey – a new journey of life without Steven by my side.  For eighteen years, our lives were centered around the brain injury and did not include pleasures that some take for granted……travel to children’s out-of-state homes, vacations, eating out, going to the beach, even simple things like soaking in a tub or leisurely shopping for clothes or home furnishings.  So it is a bit like I have stepped into a new country.  I miss Steven, but I am also enjoying this new life.  I am content.  I am at peace.

  However…..thinking of life before the Lord took Steven home, I look back on most days also filled with this same peace, especially after the Lord helped Steven work through the anger and trauma of the brain injury.  It again amazes me as I ponder how God built into each of us the exact ingredients we would need to deal with whatever He chose to allow to come through His hand to us.  It brings tears to my eyes as I think of the peace that filled Steven, especially in the last few years as he eventually lost all movement and even the small amount of speech that he previously had.

This peace and contentment, though, is NOTHING aside of what Steven is experiencing right now.  I just finished reading “The Martyr’s Song” by Ted Dekker.  Mr. Dekker writes about an old priest suffering unbelievable anguish from evil men.  The priest is given a vision of another horizon, a heavenly horizon coexisting with the priest’s current torture.  Ted Dekker talks about the “song of love” hummed by a shimmering figure walking toward the old priest in this new heavenly horizon.  He states:  “Oh, the music.  The children’s laughter rode the skies, playing off the man’s song. . . now others seemed to have joined in to form a chorus.  Or maybe it just sounded like a chorus but was really just laughter.
                       Sing, O son of Zion; Shout, O child of mine;
                       Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind.
 . . .the giggling children sang with him [the shimmering man] in perfect harmony now.  A symphony slowly swelling. The melody begged him to join.  To leap into the field and throw his arms up and dance with laughter along with the hidden children.”

The peace and contentment and joy that we will one day experience is so far, far above this “peace like a river” that I am currently experiencing looking out my daughter’s window over the river bluff.  It is eons above any peace or contentment or joy that we earthlings could ever imagine.  It will shimmer and leap and explode and flow over us with intoxicating power, reaching into our chests and squeezing our hearts and bubbling through our minds.  Halleluiah!  Praise God for the joy that is to come!    

Applying "God" to my minutes

Reading in Romans 12:12-21 today, the Lord pointed out to me the interrelation between two commands: "be constant in prayer" (vs 12b), and "Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits" (vs 16b).

Probably the majority of the time, I'm slamming through life, multi or triple tasking, with my mind flitting from one supposedly "important" (?) thing to the next. Unhappily, I'm usually not preceeding tasks, words, decisions, or thoughts about how to handle a situation....with prayer. It's not that I don't want to pray or don't realize the awesomeness and power of prayer; my mind is just going full speed ahead, and I don't THINK to pray.

However, TRUTH ONE .......
My lack of constant, continual prayer is actually like I'm saying, "I'm COOL, Lord. I've got this covered. I don't really need your interaction at the moment. I'll get back to you in a bit, Lord."

And, TRUTH TWO .......
I am "overestimating myself."
I am "wise in my own conceits."

If I truly even begin to understand the awesome power, love, wisdom, and knowledge of God, why would I want to apply my human frailty - instead of God's wisdom and power - to my minutes, hours, days??

All the rest of the commands in chapter 12 (actually, ALL of the commands - PERIOD - that He gives us in His Word) are attained best by applying "God" to every minute.

Lord, train me to become God-dependent, each minute.

Sorry!

I just looked at my two last posts and realized that I wrote some of the same things in both posts! So sorry!! (It's corrected now.) I also write for a brain injury publication and got confused about what I wrote where. Next time I'll keep better records!

For those of you who are weary and worn and fearful of what the elections will bring or of countless other things, I'd like to share with you Isaiah 40:29 and 31 from the Amplified Bible. This version gives a new picture to well-loved verses....

"He (the Creator of the ends of the earth) gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength, causing it to multiply and making it to abound...Those who wait for the Lord - who expect, look for, and hope in Him - shall CHANGE and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up close to God as eagles mount up to the sun; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

I thank God that He gave me a visual example of living out this verse in Steven.

Lord, change us, that we may lift our wings and mount up close to You!

Gifts

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights. James 1:17

JESUS is by far the perfect gift.
May you be filled with His peace this Christmas season.

In this season of gift-giving in honor of God's gift to us, I am reminded of two (out of many) gifts that He gave to Steven and me. One of those gifts is the ability to communicate that he blessed Steven with for so many years. Life is SO MUCH better with communication. Quote from brochure: We were told that he would never talk again because of extensive injury to the left temporal, parietal, and frontal lobes of the brain. However, God had different plans. I was at home the day the doctor first "capped" his trachea. I got a call from his nurse saying, "Somebody wants to talk to you." Then a voice came on the line saying, in just barely understandable words, "Hi Honey. I love you. Toward the end of Steven's life, he lost that communication ability again. But for the majority if the 18 years of his injury, it was there. Thank You, Lord!

Another gift of love from the Lord blew us away with the awesome interweaving of His plans.... Quite a number of years before the collision, while on vacation in Sarasota, FL, we attended a little church that was meeting in a school. Many years later, after Steven was injured and after moving to FL, we decided to try out that same church (probably one if several hundred churches in Sarasota), which had now become a church of thousands of members with its own building.

There were many adult Sunday School classes listed in the foyer to choose from, but God pointed us in the direction of a particular class taught by Truman Good. We walked into the class and introduced ourselves as Steven and Vicki Sauder. The class members stared at us kind of open-mouthed for a bit, and we wondered for a few moments if we'd gotten our clothes on backwards (or something like that). However, the class quickly proceeded to ask us if we were from IL and had been in a car collision a few years before and had a daughter going to Moody Bible Institute. Eventually we all realized that, "yes," we were the couple from thousands of miles away that the class had never personally met but had been praying for the last three years!

Apparently, Truman's son, Treavor, attended Moody Bible Institute in IL with our daughter Amy. Treavor had asked his dad to please have the class pray for a friend's parents who had been in a horrible accident and were badly injured.

Truman's class faithfully prayed, having received periodic updates from Trevor but not realizing that we were moving to Sarasota. What a joy it was for them to see the answer to their prayers unexpectedly walk through that Sunday school door and for God to allow us to see a tiny glimpse of the team of prayer warriors He had faithfully and lovingly assembled for us around the world.

Needless to say, all of us experience the undeserved grace of many gifts of love from our all-powerful God, who calmly moves mountains to care for His children's needs. The gifts are as many-sided and diverse as we can imagine - relational, financial, physical, emotional, and on and on. For some of the moving, He may activate prayers of saints whom we are totally unaware of. And of course, the greatest mountain of all - and the greatest gift of love ever given - was the mountain of sin that He removed for each of us, hanging alone on an old rugged cross. Thank you, precious Lord. Thank you.

God Displaying His Power and Love

I have been sharing with you the many ways that God used the agony of Steven's brain injury for God's glory and our good, including some of the ways He prepared us before (Godstops) and a number of ways that He used the brain injury in the sanctification process of Steven and me. In this journey of brain injury, He also blessed us with many "mini-miracles" and gifts of love, so that we and the people we came into contact with might see the power and love of God displayed in our ordinary day-to-day lives. One of the most precious of those ways is the miracle of Steven talking, which you can read about by going to the "Our Journey" tab at the top of the page on this blogspot.

Another gift of love had to do with the selling of our home in IL after Steven's brain injury. We had traveled to FL for my sister's wedding, found that Steven's muscle tone did much better in the FL climate, and consequently had bought a home in FL. We went back to IL to spruce up our home there for a couple weeks - painting, replacing carpeting, etc. - and had a professional appraisal done. The appraisal came out exactly $20,000.00 less than we had just paid for our FL home. This was a great disappointment to us, since we had paid off our IL home after many ears of studious monthly payments and had financially planned on not having a mortgage payment in FL. Nevertheless, we put our IL home on the market "by owner" and advertised an open house. God brought lots of people to the open house, and He put such a desire in a number of their hearts for that specific home that they were willing to bid the price up. The final bid arrived at was the exact same price that we had paid for our FL home, to the penny! The buyers were a wonderful Christian family with whom we are still friends today.

Meanwhile, we had closed Steven's practice and were getting ready to put a "for lease" sign up for the vacant space, not sure how long that part of the building would have to sit empty. God, however, had other ideas. He sent an unprecedented "tip" our way that one of the area hospitals was looking for office space in Washington for a group of their doctors. Within a short amount of time, a 5-year lease was signed.

Theses are just 2 of the many, many testimonials we could give about God's power and love displayed in our lives. Thank you, precious Lord. Thank you.

Grandson

I'm sorry I haven't posted for a long time. I was in IL for a quite awhile because my grandson Joshua (age 7) was in the hospital. His blood platelet count was down to 3000 (life-threatening - supposed to be 200,000 to 400,000). After 2 other therapies did not work, they started chemotherapy. The 4th chemo treatment brought the platelet count up to 130,000, thankfully. Joshua is now restricted to his home, with a protective helmet, but things are definitely looking up.

Joshua is our "miracle baby". He was in intensive care for 8 mo. after birth, and just started to walk and talk about a year ago. But he loves books and reads like a trooper - right side up or upside down, take your choice. (I tried it upside down and was a whole lot slower than Joshua!)

For those who have been praying for Joshua - thank you!

God's Purpose: Part 1 - God Changing Us

I've been reading the story of Joseph being sold as a slave into Egypt by his brothers, suffering in prison, becoming ruler under Pharoah, and then (as ruler over all Egypt) seeing his brothers again after 22 years. In the brothers' great distress, Joseph says to them, "And now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to reserve life." Genesis 37-45

Almost 18 years ago, I was driving when we had a collision that caused my husband Steven (a physician with a busy practice, an elder in the church, and a loving husband and father) to become severely brain injured and in need of full-time care and assistance for the rest of his life. Details of the collision are sketchy, but we think it was probably my fault.

Just as Joseph's brothers could eventually see how God had taken something so bad (Joseph's brothers' actions and Joseph's subsequent situation) and used it for His (God's) glory and the good of all Joseph's family, we can look back at Steven's life and get a glimpse of so many ways that God used the agony of Steven's brain injury for His glory and for the good of our family and many others. In God's perfect plan, it was not an accident: rather, it was a major turning point in a wonderfully orchestrated lifetime full of purpose and radiating God's wisdom.

This vision God has given us (only a tiny glimpse of the whole part of God's purposes in the brain injury) could be broken down into five parts:
1. God changing us
2. God using Steven to minister
3. God displaying His power and love
4. God drawing others to Himself
5. God pouring out love through His saints

1. GOD CHANGING US - changing Steven and myself into more of His image......

Changing us through growth in trust/faith
You've read in our brochure how God (in the early stages of the brain injury) brought Steven through the anger and deep depression of so much loss by taking him to the book of Job in the Bible. You've also read how God continually told Steven, "I love you, Steven" during the comma. Throughout these years of brain injury experience, God was expanding Steven's image of Himself, growing Steven's faith and trust in and love for His Lord. This whole process picked up speed during the last few years of Steven's life. As the originally rejuvenated neurons gradually died out, disabilities daily increased, and Steven's body gradually headed back into a coma, Steven's peace and joy in His Lord grew in the opposite direction. Typical "Steven" speech (eventually painstakingly pointed out letter by letter on the alphabet chart or finally indicated by just a blink of his eye) became "God has it all under control", "love forgives", "anger doesn't do any good; it's just a waste", "never give up", "persevere", "God is so good", "great job", "God knows what He's doing", "God has a purpose for this". I'm not as far advanced as Steven in the area of my speech, but I'm different than I was.

Another area of faith He grew me in had to do with worry. Because I HAD to, I learned to not worry about what was ahead. I was so thankful God had already taught me this (in the earlier years of Steven's brain injury) when we came to the time of Dr. Siegel saying, "The originally rejuvenated neurons are dying out and things will very rapidly get extremely bad." Worrying about repercussions from decisions I had made was harder for me to learn; God is still working on me with this.

God changing us through learning the sacrifice of praise
When I first brought Steven home, he was dealing with the loss of what seemed to be everything he knew - his health, his practice, his self-image, his dependence, his purpose, even his sight (for an extended period after eye surgery). In addition, we were struggling with various situations with selling Steven's practice. Of the 3 different doctors that we started negotiations with, one lied to us, the 2nd had other problems, and on the day the third was supposed to sign the contract, a family tragedy sent them back to Oregon permanently. Coupled with extensive injury to the area of the brain that controls emotions, all these things brought Steven to a suicidal state for a period of time. At times, I would shut Steven's door not knowing if he would be alive or dead when I'd come back in. And here is where God led me to another totally awesome thing: the sacrifice of praise. Completely devastated, I would go to the piano and force myself to start playing a song about heaven and, after awhile, crying, I'd start singing along. Then I'd progress to a praise song (or 2 or 3 or 4). And God would fill me with such a beautiful peace! Eventually, praising God in tough situations started to become habit and joy, rather than sacrifice, both for Steven and myself. Every single night before bed for many years, Steven desired to sing praise songs, and his two most favorite were: "God Is So Good" and "We Are So Blessed", which leads into the next change...

Changing us through teaching us to always look for the blessings
I've already shared with you how I watched Tammi Leman keep a journal of things to be thankful for each day when her small son Tyler had cancer. And I've shared how it became habit for both Steven and me to look for the blessings in each day, consistently. For example, when Steven lost the ability to sit up and had to get a "high end" wheelchair to hold him up, instead of griping, he name the wheelchair "The Blessing". Looking for the blessings on a continual basis is hard if you aren't content. So I think God teaching us contentment irregardless of the day's situation was another huge part of this lesson.

Changing us through teaching us to listen to the Holy Spirit unceasingly
During the last few years of Steven's life, sleep ofttimes became almost nonexistent. The only way I could stand by that bed night after night - exhausted - and speak in a gentle, loving voice was by totally leaning on the Holy Spirit: getting in the habit of constantly talking with the Lord, listening for His guidance before speaking, learning to ask Him for help BEFORE I got into a situation. I still have a long ways to go in this, but by the time that God called Steven home, both of us were light years ahead of where we started out.

Changing us through teaching us to have a "Heavenly Mindset"
Nothing makes heaven more real than years of continual suffering. Eventually, the reality that Jesus may return any moment superseded the reality of day to day living. Material things, dreams and desires for this world, normal things that people get all concerned with - could not compare to the reality of heaven coming at any moment! I think that almost daily, one of us would say to the other, "Maybe today - maybe today we'll see Him coming in the clouds! Maybe today we'll rise up to meet Him in the air!" We'd look at the beauty of the ever-changing sky and think about Jesus bursting out in majesty and brilliance (that only the redeemed could see), calling us UP.

All of these "changes" in Steven and me (and additional changes in our children) may not seem so important in the scheme of things here on earth. But in God's perspective of eternal values, they are priceless - valued beyond measure - and often only achieved through extreme, ongoing suffering and struggling. Ephesians 1:17-19

Thank you, Lord, for loving us enough to change us, little by little, into your image.

God's Interweaving

I've hesitated to add another post since Jenny added the slideshow, since I didn't want to make the slideshow post difficult to find.

Following is a journal entry of Steven's from July 5, 1997 (4 years after the collision)...

John 9:30 "It is finished"
Lord-
You knew that You must first complete the work that God had laid out for you before You went home. You waited until the work was completely done and then, at that point, You went home. Lord, I must do the same thing. I must wait until my true work for You is done, and then - not before - I will go home. Lord, I thank You that my home is waiting for me - it is secure.
In Jesus
Amen

Steven's work here on earth is now, in a sense, finished. Yet still today God continues to weave lives and situations together with the threads of Steven's suffering, extending the work of his perfect plan for Steven's life. An example of that was in the selling of our disability rampvan.

Our son-in-law, Tim Crowe, got an e-mail at work stating how another co-worker, Bert, was looking for a disability van for his disabled stepdaughter, Rachael. Tim instantly responded, Bert called me, and the next day I picked up Nancy (Rachael's mom) to show her the van. Nancy and I immediately related because of the similarity of our situations. Nancy's daughter Rachael, a lovely 22-year-old about to graduate from Bible College, was severely brain injured from an accidental electrocution. Rachael struggles with all and more of everything that Steven dealt with. She has very severe tone causing an almost total inability to move and extreme communication problems (See Rachael's webpage at lovetorachael.org).

Nancy ultimately bought the van and drove it home. But God had more in mind than just selling the van. It was such a blessing for us to be able to share with each other - and continue to share over the coming days - a sharing that I am sure will continue on.

Today my daughter Amy (Tim's wife) told me that one of the women in a sunday school class she attended (in a new church) shared how watching Steven's slide show on our blogspot had helped her. Another man in the class spoke up about how a different blogspot had been such a benefit to him. He told the story of two former Christian school teachers whose daughter was severely brain injured by electrocution.

Yes, it was the same family that we sold the van to.

God's weaving of the threads of our life goes on - both in our lifetime - and beyond our lifetime - for the praise of His glory.

Celebration service slideshow