Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us . . . Hebrews 12:1

"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us . . . " Hebrews 12:1



Almost 18 years ago, life changed in an instant when Steven Sauder sustained a head injury after a car collision. Although there have been many difficulties, God's grace has been clearly evident. The past few years, Steven continued to decline, yet God gave him the strength to "never give up". On May 9, 2011, he reached the end of his journey.



Saturday, April 30, 2011

Perfect Provision

Today my sister Sherry stayed with Steven for a few hours while I went to the Celebration Service of a precious little almost-ten year old (see especiallyheather.com). It was the first time I've left Steven since we came to the Hospice House Monday - actually the first time I've left for a long time. He's been feeling a little better and has increased his eating (4 of the little yogurts today!), but the eating has also increased his secretations again, causing more choking. He was choking pretty badly when I left, but Sherry booted me out and said she could take care of it. What a blessing God has given me in family!

His temp was down today to just a low-grade fever. At this point, each day is still really up and down, so doctors aren't giving any definite predictions yet.

II Tim. 1:7 was part of Steven and my Bible reading today and affirms that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a calm mind. Back in the spring of 1994, Steven had come out of the coma enough for us to find a temporary apartment and enroll him in an outpatient facility. Everything about life with a severe traumatic brain injury was traumatic and scary. I remember writing II Tim. 1:7 in big letters on a long roll of paper and stretching it all across our bedroom wall so we would see it first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. (One of the major ways we made it minute by minute, day by day, was by living and breathing Scripture - keeping it in front of us constantly, memorizing it, saying it, reading it.) Today, that same Scripture is just as relevant, just as comforting, and just as true.


  • Any fear in this situation is absolutely not from God;

  • we have all the power we need to combat every emotion, thought, temptation or whatever that Satan might throw at us;

  • if we allow it, His love can pour out through us to those around us;

  • He will calm our spirit and give us the discipline and self-control to make it through victoriously to the end

His provisions are perfect.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Thank you for praying

Steven slept for around 10 hours last night but was running a temp of 101.8 this morn. He also has some kind of pretty bad allergic reaction to something. They've given him benedryl through the med line. He's choking again. Appreciate all your prayers for wisdom, etc. Love to you all.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

A sacred appointment

Today Steven actually rallied somewhat, able to eat more and choking less. Additional medications and tecniques have helped tremendously. There is a possibility that if he continues thus, we may actually be taking him home after the weekend. Even though we are told it is very doubtful that his earthly body would be able to last more than a few weeks (at most), God alone knows our times and seasons. It brings such peace to know beyond a doubt that we can completely trust God and his purposes in all of this.

I am amazed at the privilege of being here in the hospice house with awesome staff that totally surpass all of our highest expectations. The setting is beautiful. We look out on a pond with blooming cattails and all kinds of wildlife. We are so blessed to live in a country with these kinds of options!

Part of my Bible reading from today is 1 John 2:20. "...But you have been annointed and hold a sacred appointment from the Holy One, and you know the Truth..." (Amplified Bible, slightly rephrased) Steven has a sacred appointment to be here, in this place, at this time, to allow God to use him in whatever way He wills. We'll just take it minute by minute as He leads.

Thank you all so much for all your prayers, comments, visits, and love.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

His grace is sufficient

Steven is finally sleeping very peacefully. They put in a med line for when he can no longer take his meds by mouth. Last night and this morning were difficult, but then he rallied and demanded food, and even threatened to tell people I was being cruel by not giving him more yogurt right away. :) We are still giving him a spoonful or two of yogurt when he asks, but anything by mouth makes his secretions and choking much worse. For a while now, everything in his body has been shutting down, including his muscles for swallowing and digesting food. We're just taking it a day at a time at this point, but we're not expecting to be able to go home. This is a wonderful place, and we feel incredibly blessed with the staff here. We are well taken care of.

We so very much appreciate all of your prayers. He is anxious to go Home to Jesus. The process is difficult, but His grace is sufficient.


Knowing that hospice was a real possiblity on Monday, we made it a point to celebrate Easter with Mom and Dad on Sunday afternoon. The kids had a great time showing him all the eggs they collected, and Dad enjoyed the opportunity to be outside watching them. What a blessing to have this memory.



Move to hospice


Dad has been moved to the hospice house in Ellenton to stabilize his breathing and choking.  Mom is staying in the room with him.   Although yesterday he actually was a little hungry, and was interested in watching the news, he is not doing so well today.  Due to a large amount of secretions that are making him choke, it looks like it may be better for him to rest on his left side in bed and not get up.  We will be discussing the option of giving him morphine by IV today to help with his breathing and comfort.  He stayed resting all night except for a few choking episodes and is very lethargic this morning.  Please pray for wisdom as decisions are made about his care, and for peace and strength for Mom and Dad.  Feel free to leave comments at this blog, as they have internet access and will be able to read what is posted.

At times like this, heaven seems so close, like Dad is standing at the gate, waiting for the call to come home.  We don't know exactly how long this waiting for the "not-yet" will last (the doctors yesterday said it could be a few weeks or even a month or so), but we are confident in the One who will carry him through this time.  

From Max Lucado's "Heaven:  God's Highest Hope":

"We aren’t home yet.

We are orphans at the gate of the orphanage, awaiting our new parents. They aren’t here yet, but we know they are coming. They wrote us a letter. We haven’t seen them yet, but we know what they look like. They sent us a picture. And we’re not acquainted with our new house yet, but we have a hunch about it. It’s grand. They sent a description.

And so what do we do? Here, at the gate where the now-already meets the path of the not-yet, what do we do?

We groan. We long for the call to come home. But until he calls, we wait. We stand on the porch of the orphanage and wait. And how do we wait? With patient eagerness.

“We are hoping for something we do not have yet, and we are waiting for it patiently (Romams 8:25, emphasis mine).

“We wait eagerly for our adoption as sons” (Romans 8:23 NIV, emphasis mine). Patient eagerness. Not so eager as to lose our patience, and not so patient as to lose our eagerness.

“No one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor. 2:9).  What a breathtaking verse! Do you see what it says? Heaven is beyond our imagination. We cannot envision it. At our most creative moment, at our deepest thought, at our highest level, we still cannot fathom eternity."