Last week a dear, precious friend walked into glory with the
Lord, after struggling for over 30 years with numerous kinds of cancer. A few weeks before the Lord took Bob home, a
group of us had gone to Bob and Lillie’s.
Bob wasn’t very strong. He was struggling
to breathe, because the cancer was in his lungs. But the minute I walked up to him to give him
a hug, he pointed to the other room and said, “The piano’s in there.” After we ate a little food together, we all
went in to the piano, and I was told to “play that” – “it’s Bob’s favorite
song”. “That” was “The Lord’s Prayer”,
and it was in a very difficult version, with timing changes 3 times and notes
all up and down the piano – way out of my capability. My eyes bugged out. But Bob desired it; so I played. We were all singing, and I was struggling
through the playing (doing an atrocious job!) when we all heard the most
precious sound coming from the corner of the room where Bob sat. Bob was singing his heart out. It was hard to keep on singing, because we
were all in tears.
That was the last time that I saw Bob responsive.
For the memorial service, Lillie wanted me to play “In the
Garden”, which was no problem since it is a very simple-to-play hymn. Through various circumstances, I also ended up
playing “The Lord’s Prayer” for a soloist and also “I’ll Fly Away” for a family
of six little children singing.
Even though I practiced and practiced “The Lord’s Prayer”,
and although it sounded fine when I played it at home – I blew it royally playing
for the service. And I didn’t find the
children’s song in the key they needed until just a few hours before I needed
to leave for the service, plus I had only the chords and one note of melody,
had to play it an octave lower, and hadn’t practiced that version with the
kids. So I kind of blew that one, too.
I was devastated. All
of the rest of the service was so perfect and so beautiful, including the taps
played at the end because Bob was a navy veteran. However, I felt that I had royally ruined my
part of it. There was such a heavy
weight on me. I couldn’t go to sleep
until the wee hours of the morning, and then I woke up after just a few hours
thinking about my mess-up. It was
two-fold: I felt so bad for Lillie and
her children, for my ruining of the beautiful service that was their last
memory of Bob; and I was exceedingly embarrassed. My pride was stomped on.
The morning of the service, God had so encouraged me by
Ephesians 1: 17-23. There, He talks
about “having the eyes of your heart flooded
with light, so you can know and understand:
1. the hope to which He has called you,
2. how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints, and
3. the immeasurable & unlimited & surpassing greatness of His POWER in & for us who believe
as demonstrated when He raised Him from the dead…”
1. the hope to which He has called you,
2. how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints, and
3. the immeasurable & unlimited & surpassing greatness of His POWER in & for us who believe
as demonstrated when He raised Him from the dead…”
At the time, I thought, “Yes,
Lord! Only your great and awesome POWER
is enabling and will enable me to play this extremely intricate song!”
But it didn’t exactly work out that way.
This morning, I cried to the Lord to lift that burden of
despair from me. And you know what?.....He
reminded me to get up and go to the piano and sing a praise song for Him. He also reminded me about “reverse praise” –
a little technique God had taught me years ago, as follows:
When somebody does
or says something that hurts you or angers you or upsets you, or when having a
hard time dealing with the regret or shame of your own failures or sins, stop
and make a list down the left side the page of everything that’s bothering you. For example, your boss may have criticized
you unfairly, or your grown child may have acted very unwisely, or someone may
have lied to you. Or you may have
spouted off to your best friend, hurting her feelings. Then, on the right side of the page, list the
opposite of that characteristic. For
example, the opposite of unfair criticism would be perfect judgement. The opposite of unwise actions would be
acting with total wisdom. The opposite
of telling a lie would be only and always telling absolute truth. The opposite of thoughtless, hurting words
would be carefully thought out responses, full of wisdom and love. Now look at each of those things on the right
side of the page, and you have a list of attributes of God, which you can begin
to praise Him for immediately. Believe
me, nothing works better for getting rid of despondency than turning to praise.
So….it was easy to see the opposite of my goof-ups and to
begin praising God for His absolute perfection.
Not so easy – but necessary and do-able - to keep on doing it every time
Satan brought up the memory of my failure.
When I went to the piano, God took me immediately to an old
gospel hymn, “Follow Me”, which talks about how a discouraged Christian says, “the burden on my weary back had bowed me to
despair”. In the song, Christ
answers, “My feet were also weary upon
the Calvary road, the cross became so heavy, I fell beneath the load. Be faithful weary pilgrim, the morning I can
see – just lift your cross and follow close to Me.”
And then just 2 pages over the song:
“God Can Do Anything But Fail”.
How perfect, when I fail and when I’m discouraged, to fix my
eyes on His perfection and on the burdens He carried - for me. A messed-up piano playing…….so much of a
NOTHING aside of what Christ had to deal with for my sake.
Then, I got to thinking about that POWER that God promised
me yesterday, and I realized that He HAD “delivered” on His part. This morning, he had given me the power to
overcome despair through praise.
And…He is also able to enable Lillie to remember the good in Bob’s
service instead of the mess-ups!
Right now while writing this article, I just got a call from
a tenant in my commercial building that I had another flood inside the
building. It’s apparently from a new
drain pipe that plumbers put in just two days ago (to correct another problem
that they had created by choosing to put in too few downspouts with the newly
installed roof). I’ve just ordered water
remediation (for the third time in just a few years), since everything is
soaked.
So…..perfect time again to use the POWER that God has given
me over despair and anger – power to turn it back into praise to Almighty God –
a praise that my friend Bob knows all about right now. He is praising God FACE TO FACE! You know, I think that when I was messing up
“The Lord’s Prayer”, it didn’t matter to Bob and the heavenly choir. They were joyously singing along in full
harmony, filling in all the notes I missed, adding more to somehow blend and
raise up my broken melody in a great symphony of praise to the King of
Kings! And that symphony is still going
on today, as I choose to praise Him!
Over two thousand years ago, the world got a little
foretaste of the awesomeness of that great heavenly choir. Shepherds, living out under the immense open
sky, watching over their flocks one night, were treated to an army of heavenly
hosts praising God and rapping out, “Glory
to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”
Halleluiah! Lord, in
this Christmas season of remembering your birth, grant us the power to keep our
eyes focused on joining the heavenly choir in praise to You. In the turmoil of life, mine keep straying.
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